In the 1990’s Mr. Tim Berners-Lee invented the world-wide web with his colleague Robert Cailliau at CERN in Switzerland.
20 years later the internet is everywhere – on our phones, on our computers, on our watches. Everything is somehow connected. It helps people to spread their business ideas, transports information in seconds. It’s a way to find out about other cultures or countries and it’s a way to spread your word (with a blog, for example).
Nowadays the internet is an essential part of our every day lives – in fact, it’s addictive. We don’t ring someone and talk as often as we used to. Instead, we chat with 10 different people on one of the many social networks there are simultaneously. Or, if we’d like to be more intimate, we have a video conversation on Skype. Personally I like that concept, even though it’s not the same thing as being in the same room with the person you’re talking to.
But the thing I really want to talk about are long-distance relationships.
Do they work? Sure, if you stay in contact consistently and visit regularly it should work, but it’s more than that. There is a lot of effort involved convincing your partner you still feel the way you said you did a week ago. A big issue is trust. You can’t know what your partner is doing and who with. Can technology really develop a strong enough connection between two people, that physical contact is no longer so important?
And how will it be when you meet the person in real life again?
I think we might build up some ideal picture of the person, based on the conversations we have with them. But spend a few days in a row with them that picture might change completely.
Imagine yourself being in a relationship with someone who might be hours or days away and you see this couple strolling along the river together. You can’t do that.
Enough of the cons for now; of course there are pros too. So maybe the selection of potential partners in your home-town is not ideal or maybe – the person who might be miles away is the one you will spend the rest of your days with and it’s worth the wait. They say that there is someone out there for everyone. At a world population of about 7 billion that ought to be the case.
Speaking from my own example: I met a guy on an exchange. We would talk a bit and towards the end of the week we found we had a few things in common. But it was on Skype that we really “hit it off”. For months I would wait for him to come online every evening and after a while I had developed quite the feeling – we both had.
So then it was time for the second part of the exchange and we saw each other. It went well for about 2 or 3 days, until I began to have doubts.
Where was this going to lead? At 17 you don’t have money or time to visit someone frequently. And before I met him I’d always told myself that my first relationship would not be a long distance one. In fact, I started feeling quite ill, not being able to sleep, until the whole idea of a relationship seemed like a terrible idea.
I broke it off before he left and well I’m very sure he was not the one.
But you know, you could say that love hurts and it’s so strong it has to be painful. But on the other hand being loved is supposed to make you feel good. And I don’t like pain, so here: I see a contradiction.
For me, if being with someone makes you feel bad, something is wrong.
A relationship needs a goal, somewhere to be headed. If it’s purely physical then well, not necessarily, but I don’t believe there’s such a thing as a purely physical long distance relationships.
I’m not the only young person (no money, no time, not enough experience) who got caught up in this situation.
You have to think about the aspects that what you’re feeling might not be real, that it may lead into nothing and you’ve wasted valuable life-time. But you also want to give the person on the other end of the line a chance. Why not? Just because they live somewhere else?
But of course this whole post is pointless. If you’re “in love” with your 3000 mile-lover then you won’t think rationally no matter what. That’s the stupid thing about feelings. They change you.
My take on it: It won’t work – you’ll end up in tears.
If you’re all international anyway, jet setting around the world – it might work.