The beginning of a horror movie…

Nothing could keep me from blogging; nothing in the world – except for the fact that my internet didn’t work the last few days. We had neither phone connection nor internet connection. It was like the beginning of a horror film, assuming I live in the absolute middle of nowhere and I don’t have a Smartphone. You see, with a Smartphone – or generally a mobile phone – you will find a way to contact the outside world and raise alarm. Unfortunately my high-speed-flat-rate ran out pretty quickly because I needed to use the internet on my phone for homework. So I skipped blogging for a few days, involuntarily. And I do apologize! But the good thing is that I’m still alive due to the fact I may live close to the middle of nowhere, but I’m not that far from civilization either (How fast can you run? *Muhaha-ha-haa*) and also due to the fact that nobody broke into our place and tried to kill us. And if someone did, we didn’t notice at all (Terrible killer, I say).

Wishful me hopes that I’ve built up enough suspense so you’ll read all of it.

And besides, our killer-kitty would have beaten him (or her) up like a pro.

Ready to pounce, see?

Right, so, on November 13 I didn’t bite my nails (wehey) and not on the day after that either. I used more plasters since I was picking a bit. And it worked. It gets me some weird looks at school and I have to explain sometimes – they mostly show sympathy or they simply ignore me. On November 15 I only bit my little finger nail, but put a plaster on it as soon as I noticed it. It hardly made a difference. November 16 I bit my thumb :/ Not much of a difference again – but still. From 17th down to 19th I didn’t bite at all 🙂 I may have nibbled, but not much. Though they are shorter because I used a nail file on then so they’re not as tempting. On the twentieth, the last day without internet, I didn’t bite or nibble 🙂

The last few days I’ve had too many things on my mind and so much to nag you with really. Where do I start?

On Saturday, just in time for the weekend I came down with a mean flu. I lasted until Monday. I did well though. I’ve only been sick twice since school started. Considering how often I used to get sick this is basically nothing.

Well…my chemistry teacher is going through menopause, I’m sure of it. Either that or she’s just a very evil person.

She’s very tiny and quite old – nothing against tiny old members of society or non-society (whatever that may be), but people aren’t as innocent as they look.

Over the last few days I’ve gathered several examples that prove my point.

1)      The speech

My chemistry teacher holds many speeches. She talks about what a terrible class we are, she reminds us that we’re not holding up with the things we’re supposed to learn, we’re too slow, she tells us that we won’t understand the following aspect anyway, because that’s advanced and frankly, we’re not that good.

Fine, fine I can tell she’s a very intelligent lady with high standards – but if she was that good she might have gotten the advanced course. And it’s not all that motivating to hear from your teacher every chemistry lesson (thank goodness it’s only chemistry) that you’re probably the worst class she’s ever had and you won’t understand half anyway and bla, bla, bla: You’re stupid.

2)      Sick notes

A few weeks ago (many weeks ago, actually) I was off sick and brought in a sick note a week later. I wanted to give it to her at the beginning of the lesson because I knew I would probably forget. She sent me away, huffing and puffing, telling me not to slow down the lesson and so on. (She’s basically constantly stressed about all the wrong things) So I wanted to give it to her after the lesson, but I forgot. Every teacher at our school has a little mailbox in which students can put their notes and things intended for that particular teacher. So I put the sick note in there. Next lesson I went up to her and asked her if she’d signed my sick note and she looked at me and laughed, explaining that you shall not put things in her mailbox!
What she was saying was that she’d lost it, but it was my fault anyway.
So I had my mother sign a new sick note and I showed her that one.

On Monday she then said she wanted to talk to me and another girl (we share the same name) and read a sick note out loud. I said that was mine, but of course she insisted on finishing to read. When finally she accepted that it was my letter (the one she’d lost weeks ago) she explained it had slipped into her bag. Okay, that was fine then. The issue was resolved anyway. But what kind of evil lady would she be if she didn’t tell me what I’d done wrong with the sick note. First off, she reminded me again that I shouldn’t put things in her mailbox and then she showed me it and said: “What do you think is wrong with this sick note?” I didn’t see what she meant at first until I realized I hadn’t written my surname (it was only in my mother’s signature) on the note so she couldn’t have known which student it was. I said that I was sorry and it wouldn’t happen again. Was that enough? No. Of course not! After she’d told me in front of the whole class how to write a sick note (“You have to write your class and surname. I have so many students. I’m a busy woman!”) she insulted my mother’s signature (It’s a signature – of course it’s a bit swirly!) and all I had to say was that I’d learned from it, that she had made herself clear and that I had a break now and I wanted to go. I had to repeat myself a few times because she wouldn’t stop talking about how terrible this sick note was. When I turned around to leave, she ripped it into two pieces. She’s a darling, isn’t she?

3)      The experiment

We did an experiment in the lesson after that. We were going to make alcohol (ethanol) with glucose and yeast. She told us for ages that she didn’t have the yeast and then she had no glucose (apparently, food stores don’t exist in her busy world) and back and forth and back and forth. So finally we did the experiment, but she hadn’t prepared anything because she had the excuse that there was not enough space. We wanted to make alcohol and we managed to change her mind. So then for about 15 minutes she was getting together everything (with several students) and then blamed us that we were running out of time. Maybe I’m wrong, but don’t you have to prepare your lesson as a teacher? For a short time we couldn’t ask her any questions because she had to concentrate on getting everything together still. So then a girl wanted to weigh 15 grams of glucose and took the box. “Stop!” our dear teacher yelled and ripped the box from the girls’ hands. “What do you need to weigh glucose?” She asked. A spade. So I got a spade and asked her if it was the right one. In disbelief she looked at me: “You didn’t really just ask me that? Of course it is!”

Apparently this woman can’t answer a question without turning sarcastic.

Later, a girl from my group wanted to do the next step and asked her if she should put the solvent in the glass before adding the yeast. Our teacher looked at her and said: “No. We just made that solvent for fun. You can through it away now.” Goodness, a simple yes or no would have been absolutely satisfying. “Well, use some common sense! People, you have to use your brains, you now. I can’t do everything for you!” she went on – and on.

So for now that’s only a few examples of the outrages of a chemistry teacher. I have no doubt many more will follow. At this rate I can’t wait for school to be over!

That brings me to my next subject. What happens when school is over? I’m planning to do a voluntary year abroad, as I may have mentioned, but I don’t know where yet. I’m not allowed to go to Africa, South America or too close to Pakistan. Let’s say that makes things a little harder. I could go to India, I’d love to go to India and there are projects there that need helpers. The place I want to go might be too close to the Pakistani border. I’ve tried telling my mother that there’s little point in doing a voluntary year if I can’t go anywhere they actually might need help.

I’m hoping to get something in direction of women’s rights – so suggestions are very welcome 🙂

But that’s not my only worry for my life after school. I want to move out and do stuff, but what?

I thought about studying sociology, but that might be too theoretical (In case you haven’t read several times that I want to change something in this world…I want to do just that and not end up in an office, counting the long days), so maybe social work – Michelle asked if I could really do that kind of thing for the rest of my life. Good question, I don’t know.

We had a guy from the job agency talk to us today about studying and things and it turns out a lot of people have a plan. Why can’t I have a plan?

I’ll keep on writing, but I won’t study that.

So I could study something social – or I could study what I always wanted to do: Acting. But I would also study directing and maybe script writing – or journalism. But then I think something might be missing, skipping out on my plan to save the world. Michelle has a plan: She’ll become an amazing musical-performer and I have no doubt she’ll succeed. Of course she’s still working on plan B, but she has plan A, just like another girl who has plan A and plan B laid out for herself. I know I keep talking about this topic, but I ought to make a decision soon. I’ve done tests to get some more orientation and each of them had a different result and job agency-people can’t really tell me anything more either. And if they’re the experts on the subject – how am I supposed to decide?

Frankly, my dear, (I don’t give a damn) that sucks!

We did a fire alarm exercise on the November 16 – It was supposed to be a surprise. We didn’t know when it was supposed to be – well, we weren’t supposed to know. But our teachers were always talking about fire escapes and then in the lesson before the fire alarm a teacher let it slip – well done J However it was quite a relaxed thing. It meant disturbing a boring history lesson (second world war – again? I’ve had it three times now) and getting some fresh air. But if it had been a real fire evacuation we probably would have been dead by now. Our teacher didn’t follow standard procedure and let us pack our stuff and put on our jackets, since it was very cold outside.

And then my classmates were saying how much German teacher loves, but they only think that because they’ve burnt it into their minds that he doesn’t like them. People take everything far too personally. So although my day started off pretty bad (almost got hit by a car, got shouted at by the driver, almost rode into other bike riders, deciding I don’t like corners, had maths, had a headache, watched a documentation about how stupid humanity can be) I ended up in a good mood thanks to theatre class – even though I still didn’t have internet.

And I won’t start talking about the newly arising conflict (by the time I post this, who knows where it’s ended up). All I can say is that it’s another example of how stupid and ignorant of the past humanity and how stubborn too. It’s a bad idea!

So before this post has your brain burst from all this negativity and sarcasm and what not, let’s put an end to this. But you know this an interactive blog – you may reply with good suggestions – in fact: I need THE answer. I know that’s sort of irrational – but whatever 🙂


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