Dear Mr. Maths

I was studying for a maths exam this last weekend it really drove me insane. In order to let off some steam, I decided to write “Mr. Maths” a very personal letter – here’s the outcome: 

We’ve spent the last two days trying to understand each other – it was intense and now my head hurts.

I feel like my brain doesn’t have the capacity to grasp all of your facets and please – learn to speak properly!

Instead of making full sentences that somebody like me would easily understand, you say things like: X is lR, therefore AB is ll.

The word therefore should not be allowed in your vocabulary, because nothing you say actually makes enough sense to be able to come to a conclusion. As little as you understand me, I understand you.

It’s safe to say we don’t get along ever since you decided to reinvent yourself in space and extend your horizon, leaving the rest of us behind you. And here you are, forcing your way into my life again if I like it or not. And I can’t ignore, I’m stuck with you for another year and what’s worse, you influence my final grade and also my mood – which is very bad.

This may sound harsh but to me you’re that bag of sand holding me down, keeping me and my grade from going supersonic! You’re too heavy, too fat!

And you’re such a drama queen too, always craving attention and making yourself so important! For more, you always see the worst in things! You’re constantly pointing out problems and tell me to solve them. Well, guess what? Your problems, not mine!

I’ve been very patient with you over these last few years, suppressing the urge to rip off your head or maybe cut out your tongue – I hear there was a time you weren’t so annoying. I hear there was a time you would leave a student alone after 11th grade if he asked you to. And now you’ve decided to haunt us until the very end – well thanks a lot!

You my friend are a complete waste of my time. Tomorrow is our last major confrontation of the year – I’m looking forward to failing. What else could I do, as in contrast to you I try to make the best out of the situation?

I hate you, I really really do. And I have tried – I really have, but you have done nothing to improve our relationship. In fact, you just kept getting worse! I hate you so much and I know there are worse things on earth than having to deal with you, but right now, I feel like you are the worst thing on this planet that could ever happen to me. And because you went ahead and got all friendly with the school system, you’re ALWAYS HERE! Why can’t you just go away? Why can’t you just get your head out of your arse and realise that EVERYONE hates you! You may think you’re doing us a service, but you’re not. Go find a place where you’re wanted – IT’S NOT HERE!

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