To all those rejectors

To all those who have or will  reject me, avoid or ignore me. To all you employers, publishers, friends, lovers who never will be or have been or have simply seized to be.

I thank you.

It hurts to see a chance slip away from me, especially with my vivid imagination that moves faster than any relationship ever could. It hurts to feel ignored or even pushed away. It’s always a disappointment to realise that my abilities and my character aren’t significant enough to hold on to. Some of you rejectors will keep me awake at night, some of you have and some of you continue to do so every night when it’s too quiet. Yes, some of you even have the ability to bring me to tears or to anger me, consumed in self-doubt and frustration.

But still I thank you dearly.

You remind me that nothing in life is a given and I need to work on myself to get to where I want to be. You teach me to look out for my real friends, to beware of falling in love, falling too deeply, too painfully. You fuel my ambitions and sharpen my aim.

Also it’s a reminder that I should never count on anyone else to break my fall. After all, we’re all too busy breaking our own falls, aren’t we?

There are truths in life and there are illusions and you help me distinguish between them.

Thank you for hurting me, leading my mind to aimless thoughts and filling my heart with disappointment and doubt, because at the end of it all what remains is a life full of joy and love, pleasure and aim – and all of that will be true. No illusions nor false hopes.

It will be a piece of art carved from rejection to reveal the life that’s cut out for me and for me alone. There will be no need for illusions.

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