Today I was sent a mail for a petition from All Out, an organisation that fights for laws and rights for the LGTB community: https://www.allout.org/en
The petition was a reminder for French leaders and other leaders too, not to agree with a group of conservative activists who call themselves “Manif pour tous”, which apparently means “Demonstration for all” – but that may be wrong since it makes little sense.
They oppose to same-sex marriage, because it’s not real, and they especially oppose to same-sex couples having children. They say it is unfair towards the child to deprive it of a mother or a father. Also, they don’t like the idea of artificially produced children by PMA or GTA. They want to preserve the traditional family values and the human heritage and the human race. On top of that, they say they are not homophobic, only homosexual couples aren’t valid. Does anyone else see the contradiction there?
Here is their website if you would like to read up on their ideas, but the english translation is a little hard to read since they use many smart words and complicated sentences and yes, often they contradict themselves.
So, about a child being deprived of a mother or a father: Hasn’t that been happening for thousands of years? What if the mother or the father died or if the child was the created in an anonymous one-night-stand or born by a rape-victim. Are they then not real families either? So, that’s nothing new, basically, and has little to do with same-sex parents. Also, about knowing about your origin: We all come from apes.
Personally I have always been fascinated my Scottish Heritage, the great Clan that fought battles and was probably very hairy and had foul teeth, but I do not define myself over it. I used to have problems with my heritage. Because I was English, yet living in Switzerland and Germany, not really knowing where I belonged, until I realised that it didn’t matter, because I was never going to stay in one place anyway. The Germans are very much confronted with their Heritage – their ancestors being Nazis and all – in school, on TV and when they go on holiday, so I am told. But I have not heard anyone my age say they were sorry. They may have said it was terrible what happened back then and it may not be that long ago, but they were different people from a different time. Of course it could happen again, but it doesn’t have to be Germany. It could – say – France or the USA. Of course we can learn from our past, but aren’t part of it.
We ought to live in the here and now. I know that my parents – even if I were adopted – have raised me to be an independent person who makes her own choices and her own mistakes, can choose to follow the new Hitler or not. If you want to discover our origin, it’s better and more useful from a scientific point of view to look at the big picture. Besides, people have been adopting children for years, different-sex as well as same-sex couples and yes, maybe, they have a few problems with their identity, but that’s only because society rushes into it as we desperately try to find out who we are. We are willing to dive into our ancestry, our family ideals, the fan club of a particular band, the fantasy world of Harry Potter, our countries mentality just to find out where we stand in all of this. But it does not mean that knowing where we come from gives us all the answers. It may only give us comfort and a place to sit back and relax while your real self is still waiting for you to show up for coffee.
Personally I don’t know what to think of artificial reproduction. It is a way for couples who can’t have kids – there are also different-sex couples who do that, by the way – to create the family they’ve always wanted.
We were discussing the topic in ethics class once and a pro-argument was that – because the child was conceived very deliberately – the parents even paid for the treatment and made sure they were good enough to build a family – it may be welcomed more into the world and given more attention than a naturally, yet accidentally conceived baby. Of course this is just a presumption, but it makes sense. And who’s to say that having two great fathers isn’t better than having a careless mother and father? On their website they say they don’t want to ignore the needs of homosexual couples, but there must be a way to keep them happy without disrupting the “M/W Civil Marriage” and “Real parentage”. Define real parentage. I am pretty sure there are plenty of different-sex couples who have no idea what real parentage is.
Me, I don’t understand what the fuss is with having kids anyway, but that’s just me. In my opinion, we are overpopulated and starving the planet and each other. So there is no need for children at the moment. If only a few people had kids – you know – to keep the human race going if you must – then the number of people everywhere would go down. Apparently, we were only about 3 billion people in the 1960’s. Now we are moving from 7 to 8 billion. In only fifty years we have managed to more than DOUBLE our amount. Don’t you think that’s enough?
I understand that humans have the natural urge to reproduce and pass on their genes. I get it. But don’t you think that’s a little too old-fashioned? If we gave in to every urge there was, we’d be acting like animals and we fine specimen don’t want to act as what we are!
Also, speaking of “preserving family traditions”: How far back do you want to go? The time when polygamy was still legal in most parts of the world?
They say that marriage should be between man and woman – I’m sure the church has something to do with that. The only reason marriage was invented in the first place was to reduce STD’s. So if a man and a man or a woman and woman or a man and a woman share the same bed for fifty years and love and respect each other: What’s the difference? They are not sleeping around no matter their sexual orientation and therefore not spreading diseases.
So, if two people who love each other want to commit for the rest of their lives, that’s fine with me. For having children, my first instinct would be to adopt from within the country or elsewhere. Personally I think there should not be any artificially produced babies – or any new babies at all – made until every child without a family has a loving home. THEN we can talk about if it’s okay to make a baby in a petri-dish.
However, I signed the petition from AllOut, as I never doubted same-sex marriage from the start and people are making a too bigger deal out of what a “proper family” should look like. The perfect family doesn’t exist and I don’t think it ever has, because society has always developed – from a matriarchy to a patriarchy – from women having no rights to women getting elected Chancellor, from homosexuality being seen as an illness to being accepted as a normal sexual orientation – just like a-sexuality or bi-sexuality or being transgender. And it will keep changing, because that’s what it’s been doing since it began.